Stop Setting New Year’s Resolutions. Try This Instead

By mid-January, most New Year’s resolutions are already fading.

The gym routine becomes inconsistent. The “clean eating” plan collapses under a late meeting or a sick child. And what’s left isn’t motivation, it’s guilt.

If you’re a business owner, entrepreneur, or busy working parent, the issue isn’t that you lack discipline.

It’s that the traditional resolution model doesn’t work for real life.

This year, I want to give you permission to try something different, something grounded in behaviour change science and designed for humans with full plates, not unlimited willpower.

Why Resolutions Fail (and It’s Not Your Fault)

New Year’s resolutions are built on the belief that lasting change comes from motivation and self-control. Yet decades of behavioural research show that motivation is unstable and highly dependent on context, stress, and energy levels (Baumeister & Tierney, 2011).

Willpower is a finite resource. When demands are high, poor sleep, emotional labour, heavy workloads, self-regulation declines. Under these conditions, the brain prioritises efficiency and survival, not long-term optimisation.

Large, outcome-based goals (“get fit”, “lose weight”, “fix my sleep”) also increase cognitive load. Research consistently shows that when goals feel too demanding, people are more likely to disengage entirely, triggering an all-or-nothing cycle of effort, burnout, and self-blame (Marteau et al., 2012).

The problem isn’t you.

It’s that resolutions ask too much, too quickly, from already overloaded systems.

Behaviour Change Happens in the Nervous System

If you’re juggling leadership, parenting, and health, your nervous system is likely operating close to capacity.

Chronic stress and insufficient sleep impair executive function, emotional regulation, and follow-through, the very skills required for behaviour change (Walker, 2017). When the nervous system perceives threat or overload, it resists additional demands, even when those demands are “good for us”.

Sustainable change doesn’t come from force.

It comes from reducing friction, creating safety, and building consistency.

So instead of setting a resolution this year, try one of these two evidence-based approaches instead.

Strategy 1: Replace the Goal with One Simple Behaviour

Rather than aiming for an outcome, choose one small, repeatable behaviour that supports it.

Not:

• “I will get fit”
  
• “I will eat better”
  
• “I will sleep properly”
  

But:

• “I will walk for 10 minutes after lunch”
  
• “I will eat protein before noon”
  
• “I will dim the lights at 9pm”
  

Why this works: behaviours are within your control, reduce decision fatigue, and create momentum through repetition.

Research on habit formation shows that consistency matters far more than intensity. Habits are built through repetition in stable contexts, not through motivation or perfection (Lally et al., 2010). Identity change follows behaviour — not the other way around.

A useful filter is:

Could I do this on my worst day?

If a habit only works when life is calm and motivation is high, it won’t survive real life.

Small actions done often build trust, confidence, and long-term change.

Strategy 2: Choose a Theme Instead of a Resolution

High-achievers often struggle not because they aim too low, but because they aim too rigidly.

An alternative that works particularly well for busy adults is choosing a theme for the year, rather than a fixed goal.

Examples:

• “Consistency over intensity”
  
• “Support before discipline”
  
• “Nervous system first”
  
• “Less, but better”
  

A theme acts as a flexible decision-making guide. It reduces pressure, supports autonomy, and allows adaptation, all key factors shown to improve adherence and wellbeing (Marteau et al., 2012).

On tired, stressful days, the theme helps you choose what supports you, without judgement or perfectionism.

And flexibility is what makes behaviour change sustainable.

This Is Your Permission Slip

If New Year’s resolutions no longer fit your life, that’s not failure.

It’s feedback.

This year, you are allowed to:

• Go smaller
  
• Prioritise ease over extremes
  
• Build habits that support your real life, not an ideal one

Health isn’t built through January overhauls.

It’s built through small, repeated acts of self-support, practiced quietly, consistently, and with compassion.

So stop setting New Year’s resolutions.

Choose one behaviour. Pick a guiding theme.

And let this be the year you finally work with your biology - not against it.

References:

Baumeister, R. F., & Tierney, J. (2011). Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength. Penguin Press.

Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W., & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. 

Marteau, T. M., Hollands, G. J., & Fletcher, P. C. (2012). Changing human behaviour to prevent disease: The importance of targeting automatic processes. Science, 337(6101), 1492–1495. 

Pilcher, J. J., & Walters, A. S. (1997). How sleep and sleep loss affect psychological variables related to behaviour change. Behavioural Sleep Medicine, 1(4), 203–220.