Sometimes Trying to Prove You Are the Best Is an Insult

Picture this.

Two dogs are sprinting across a field, kicking up dust as they race furiously for the finish line. Off to the side, a lion lounges beneath a tree, calm, unbothered, quietly powerful. The dogs don’t notice him. They are too busy trying to outdo each other.

The lion doesn’t move.
Not because he isn’t fast.
Not because he lacks strength.
But because it would be an insult to race in a competition that was never designed for him.

This simple image captures a truth many of us forget, especially in a world that constantly demands proof- proof of our worth, proof of our success, proof that we belong. We rush, we push, we strive… often without questioning whether the race we’re running is even ours.

The Psychology of Proving Yourself

Social comparison theory (Festinger, 1954), now a cornerstone of modern psychology, explains that we naturally compare ourselves with others to evaluate our worth or progress. It’s a deeply human mechanism, but one that can become corrosive when external validation becomes the driver rather than personal growth.

Research on self-determination theory also shows that people thrive when their behaviour is rooted in internal motivation -autonomy, meaning, purpose- not external approval (Ryan & Deci, 2000). Chasing validation pulls us away from this intrinsic drive and into the exhausting cycle of constant comparison.

And yet, so many of us fall into it.

The Insult Hidden in “Trying to Be the Best”

Not all striving is harmful. High standards, ambition, discipline—these are powerful tools. But trying to prove that you are the best carries a different flavour. It suggests:

• You’re playing by someone else’s rules
• You’re trying to win a race that someone else created
  
• You’re measuring yourself with someone else’s yardstick
  
• You believe your value needs external confirmation
  

The insult isn’t to others. The insult is to yourself, to your identity, your individuality, your genius.

A lion racing dogs is lowering itself.

A person competing in a game that minimises who they really are is doing the same.

Real-Life Examples of the “Lion Problem”

1. The brilliant employee who over-explains

They’re already respected and competent, but in meetings they continually over-justify their ideas, desperate to prove they’re smart enough.

The insult?

Their work should speak for itself. Their presence already demonstrates their worth

2. The parent trying to outdo other parents

Homemade organic bento lunches. Picture-perfect parties. Every hobby, every programme, every achievement documented.

The insult?

It suggests that being a loving, attuned, secure parent isn’t enough unless it outshines someone else.

3. The entrepreneur changing direction constantly

Why? Because someone else launches a new offer, a new feature, a new brand look.

The insult?

It implies their original vision wasn’t good enough, when in reality, consistency would have made them unstoppable.

4. The fitness enthusiast who burns out

They lift heavier, run faster, train harder, not because their body thrives on it, but because they want to “beat” someone else at the gym.

The insult?

It disregards the body’s natural rhythm and needs in favour of external applause.

Why the Lion Stays Still

Animals don’t struggle with self-worth.
They don’t perform.
They don’t compare.

Behavioural ecology research shows that animals conserve energy and avoid unnecessary risks; dominance comes from presence, not performance. Lions know they are lions. They do not validate their identity through competition; they validate it through how they carry themselves, how they act when it matters, and the power they hold without needing to display it.

Humans could learn from this.

What This Means for You

Ask yourself:

Where am I racing in a contest that isn’t mine to run?

Whose approval am I chasing—and why?

Where am I shrinking myself by trying to prove something that is already true?

If I stopped competing, what would I do differently?

The moment you step out of comparison-driven striving, life becomes wider, calmer, and more meaningful. Your decisions sharpen.
Your confidence stabilises.
Your boundaries strengthen.

You stop sprinting like a dog chasing a finish line.
You start moving like a lion - deliberate, powerful, unhurried.

The Empowering Truth

Sometimes trying to prove that you are the best is an insult because:

You already are enough.

Your worth doesn’t come from performance.

Your identity doesn’t need to be validated by anyone.

Your strength is evident without competing.

Your path is unique, therefore incomparable.

True confidence is quiet.
True power is calm.
True greatness does not need applause.

Sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is to step back, sit beneath your metaphorical tree, and let the world race without you, because you know who you are, and that is more than enough.

References

• Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140. 
• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.